I Heart EBay
by A-Crimson-Evil
Summary: All of the Organization's problems have been solved, thanks to Axel and his second true love; Ebay. Akuroku Oneshot Crackish and kinda AEish.


Author's Note: So, yeah, this story is completely random. It was just a thought I had during my English class, and I decided, "Hey, why not?" For those who want to know, I'm still working on Slightly Sedated Slumber, it's just at a standstill. I do, in fact, have half of the chapter written, but I don't like it a lot. So, we'll see.

Also, to explain the rating, it's got a lot of sexual references, but no action. I just thought it was halfway between M and T, and I figured I shouldn't scar the eyes of the children. See how good of a person I am?

Beware of Crack and Randomness. Totally Non Canon and I will not apologize for completely changing the story. I like my version better anyways.

Review and you get my (non)heart forever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, EBay, the Avenue Q references, Neopets, Deviantart (except for my Deviantart), any spoofs on Disney, songs, ect or Axel's virginity (damn!), so don't sue me. I do own the idea, Axel's obsession with EBay, and Kingdom Brains.

* * *

Axel sat at his desk, staring intently at the screen of his neon green laptop. The service in the Castle that Never Was wasn't good, so he'd finally gotten a laptop instead of just using the internet on his cell phone. After all, laptops couldn't be dropped in Ramen Noodles either, and even though the phone hadn't broken after that incident (Damn Demyx, Axel would get him back for that someday, the klutz!) the phone had never returned to its former glory.

Clad only in his favorite pair of comfy plaid green pajama pants, which were actually surprisingly warm, the red head was still tired. Normally, he wouldn't have gotten up so early, especially when he didn't have to do anything this morning, thank god, but there was this REALLY GREAT sale on red checkered sneakers, and if he was going to impress Roxas, he'd have to get them off EBay before anyone else found out.

Ah, EBay, the wonderful, glorious thing. Aside from Roxas, the thing was the love of his life. Actually, he was thinking about asking Roxas if he'd be willing to have a three-way with his laptop, but after a couple hours of thinking, he'd decided that not only it wasn't possible, but Roxy would probably think he was, well, weird.

He scrunched his eyes for a moment, reading the screen. He had on his thick, black framed square glasses, which he refused to wear aside from in the comfort of his room. Frankly, it was hard to be a super villain with those things on, and since "Villain" was his flavor of the week, he figured it was for the best that he left his glasses at home and suffered from his less than 20/20 vision in style.

"Yes! I got it!" he exclaimed to his empty room, and got up and danced around. Those red checkered sneakers were his for life. He slid across the floor discoing, and bopped his head to his non-existent theme music. He sat down after a couple of minutes, stretched his arms and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were still feeling slightly blurry, and after he yawned a couple of times, he wiped the sleep from them. Then he pushed his fire engine red hair into a lime green pony tail holder and went back to checking out EBay.

"I love you, EBay, please, never leave me," he told it, and gazed at it fondly while stroking the side of the laptop with a passion he normally saved for Roxas. Psh, Superior was obviously missing out on something. If he seriously believed they didn't have feelings, he'd definitely never experienced love, or EBay. Which, really, was kind of the same, right?

* * *

A very sleepy Roxas walked down the hallway, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and yawning. It was too early to be up. He should've waited till it was 12:00. 11 were really just way too early. His pin striped pajama pants slid down a little bit, clinging hazardously on his hip bones in a way so sexy, but so alarmingly cute that it should've been illegal.

A large blue wool blanket hung around his shoulders, and he clutched it to his chest like a little child in the night. He searched the halls, trying to find his way to Axel's room. It wasn't his fault, really. He had no sense of direction, and in a place so large, it was easy to get lost.

The too adorable boy really did have a logical reason to go to Axel's room. Or, well, at least, he'd eventually found one. Not that he didn't like going to Axel's room. Oh, no, it was really quite the opposite. He just didn't want Axel to know. The blonde blushed quietly, thinking of the other times he'd been in the older nobody's room. He really did like Axel, more than he should've been able to.

Or, well, that's what the superior told them, but then again, the superior was kind of insane. Really, nobody believed his nonsense about not having a heart, except maybe Saix, but that was only because Saix was insane too and totally obsessed with the superior. Axel had a theory on not having hearts. He believed superior when he told them they didn't have hearts. After all, Axel had once told Roxas that before he'd joined the organization, he'd often felt empty and horrible. But, Axel had told him, in one of his sappy moments that he had now had feelings, because with Roxas, he had a heart, even if he couldn't physically have one. After all, he had a mind, right? He'd told Roxas he kept his feelings in his head, which apparently meant it finally had a use other than growing hair.

Roxas believed and agreed with Axel, too. In the moments he wasn't around the redhead, he felt cold and alone. Axel was his heart, even if neither of them physically had one. Axel… he made him feel… like he had a heart. Not that Roxas would ever let Axel know that. No, that'd be too easy.

Roxas was way too evil and sadistic to let Axel get away with easy love. Actually, he'd love to sometime, but it'd be boring to let Axel know he loved him. Roxas didn't like boring, he didn't like normal. He didn't like fitting the mold. Something told him he'd never probably liked it in his last life either.

Anyways, he'd finally found a reason to go to Axel's room. For, he was cold, and Axel's room was like an oven, even though, like the rest of the Castle, it was never heated. The superior had told them that, "Because none of us can feel the cold, it wouldn't be worth it," which was basically just another phrase for him being a cheap bastard. Either way, Axel's room was always warm, no matter what. Of course, Axel told him it was because he was, "So hot. I mean, the hotness just follows me! I can't help it that my good looks charm air molecules into being warm!" which normally followed with Axel getting hit.

He found Axel with the door to his room open. Smirking, the blonde hushed his giggles as he peered into the room to see Axel doing to tacky "happy dance." Roxas had told him time and time again that he looked really fruity when he did it, but Axel insisted that every time something good happened, he had to dance, or nothing good would ever happen to him again.

Sometimes Roxas wondered if Axel's Somebody had lived in a mental ward. It would explain a lot.

And even though Axel looked so hot Roxas could totally bake cookies on him, with his pajama pants slowly shifting down on his bony hips as he swayed to some non-existent music, his face in the euphoria of probably having just bought something stupid on that ridiculous EBay of his, and his finally muscled chest slightly covered in sweat, probably from his nervousness of fearing that he wouldn't get whatever he wanted to buy on EBay, Roxas couldn't help but want to torture the redhead.

So, he waited until the redhead sat down, and he slowly let himself into the room. Axel was startled for a moment till he grinned and let out his normal greeting of, "Hey there, Roxy-Bear!"

"A-Axel," Roxas stuttered, trying his best to push a blush onto his cheeks as he looked down in what appeared to be shyness. Axel practically had a heart attack (not that he had a heart, but he digressed) and Roxas toed at the ground and then looked up at him with his large, innocent blue eyes.

"W-what are you doing on the internet?" Roxas asked, biting one lip and purposely letting his blanket fall a little, showing a sliver of his sun kissed skin.

Axel grinned, although it faltered with cuteness, and replied, "Oh, that? I was buying stuff on EBay!"

"B-but, Axel, I thought you s-said… the internet was for porn. L-like when you let me watch some of those two men and then kissed me and pinned me down to your bed and put your hand in my pants and started-" Roxas continued, forcing his blush and eyeing Axel as the other sputtered and turned red as he attempted to cut him off.

"The internet has many other uses including EBay, Neopets, and Deviantart!" Axel sputtered out, too loud and kind of oddly pitched as he blushed red and tried not to die, with the blonde looking so…so…molestable.

Roxas grinned and walked up to Axel, yawning as the other glared at him and sat down with his hands over the crotch of his pants indignantly.

"You did that on purpose," the redhead accused, and the blonde grinned and made no attempt to disagree, but rather going behind Axel and putting his arms around him, licking his ear, which furthered Axel's redness.

"I did? Really? How silly of me. Maybe I should leave while you take care of that," Roxas replied, sighing and walking slowly towards the door. His arm was caught, and he was met with a smug redhead, who proceeded to point at his pants.

"Well, I guess I don't need to help with that one then, eh?" the redhead drawled, and now it was Roxas's turn to blush and stutter indignantly.

Then Axel proceeded to pin Roxas to his bed, reteaching the blonde what he'd taught him the blonde the first time he'd caught Axel on internet.

* * *

Sunlight streaked through the window, waking the redhead who had been sleeping until that moment. He groaned, and looked out the window. Sunrise, the time he normally woke up, had arrived. Axel normally woke up with the sun. No one really knew why, but they didn't really care either, because he always made breakfast when he wasn't looking up something on EBay.

He felt the familiar warmth curled behind his back and turned to look over at his bed mate. Roxas's breath 'whooshed' against his back in an even pattern. The little blond boy's face was serene and peaceful in sleep. Axel cocked a grin and laid a pair of soft lips on the naked boy, which of course didn't disturb him. Roxas was a heavy sleeper, and a late one at that.

Swinging his legs out of bed, the redhead stretched, catlike, and grabbed for his long pair of pajama pants and his special organization robe, which Larxene had given him for Christmas, both of which he adorned. He whistled as he walked down to the kitchen that never was. In about 45 minutes, the smell of fresh bacon and blueberry muffins drifted up to the bedrooms upstairs, and one by one, the other members of the organization joined him.

Axel, now wearing an apron and a chef hat, which Xigbar had given to him as a gag gift Axel took too seriously, handed out his muffins and bacon to each member. Saix was first, accepting his breakfast with an almost-there smile, showing that obviously, he and superior had a really good night last night. Xemnas was down there next, looking dazed and confused, but accepting his muffin and bacon while mumbling something about "Where are my heart lollipops?" like a good, old senile person.

Xigbar popped in from the ceiling, grabbed a muffin, and popped up to his chair from under the table. Grinning, he stole The Morning Newspaper That Never Was from Xemnas, who then started crying. Saix bit Xigbar, so he gave the newspaper back, which Saix made into a sailor hat, put on Xemmy's head, and the man stopped weeping.

Demyx was in next, only half dressed in his pajama pants and sporting about a million hickeys. While everyone just kind of froze and looked at him awkwardly, he rubbed his eyes and yawned adorably, as normal, and Breakfast went on as normal. Zexion came in next, took a seat by Demyx, ate a piece of bacon, and held Demyx's hand during Breakfast.

Zexion and Demyx weren't at breakfast for long. They went back up to their room as soon as Demyx was done with him muffin, and the muffled sounds of love making were heard until Larxene yelled at them to, "FUCKING SHUT UP WHILE SOME OF US ARE FUCKING SLEEPING! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

Marly came down then, took two muffins up, and attempted to calm his hag down. It seemed to work, and the hag and fag duo went to the garden to kill butterflies.

Luxord came up from the basement. He had to check on Vexen every morning to make sure he was still alive before he came to breakfast. Suddenly, the Kitchen That Never Was became dead silent as Luxord sighed and put his head in his hands and started sobbing.

"Damnit, I guess he's still alive then," Xemnas muttered, and everyone groaned in disappointment and went back to breakfast.

Xaldin and Lex came in, said nothing, ate breakfast, asked if Vexen was still alive, got disappointed that he was, and left.

They were men of few words.

The kitchen cleared out till no one was left but Axel, who had saved two muffins and 8 pieces of bacon, 4 for each plate. He poured two glasses of orange juice and reset the table. Five minutes later, Roxas came down yawning, in his pajama pants and huge blue blanket, like normal. He looked around and sighed.

"Axel, why don't the others ever come down to eat the breakfast you make? I mean, it's good! You could've been a chef in your other life, y'know?" he asked, looking around again, just to check to make sure no one really was there.

Nope, no one was around. He sat down and took a bite of his muffin, and turned to Axel again, who just grinned again.

"You know Roxas, I have no idea."

* * *

A couple days later Axel sat at him computer desk again, but this time, in silence. It… It couldn't be! It was impossible! No way could they sell that on EBay? It was impossible!

He grinned and stepped away from his computer. Quickly, he ordered 12 of them. There would be one for everyone in the organization, aside from Vexen, who really didn't matter, after all.

Perfect. This was just… it was perfect!

He gloated to himself silently, but never made a noise. He checked the clock. It was 4:00, which could mean only one thing… Roxy time!

* * *

"Ok, the Pizza Hut That Never Was said that the Pizza Man Who Never Was will be here in about Thirty Non-Minutes," Roxas informed Axel. 4:00 on the dot. Every day, no matter what, they hung out in the Living Room That Never Was with Demyx, Zexion, Larxene, and Marluxia. Except for this week, of course. Because this week, Demyx and Zexion were out on a date at The Fancy Restaurant That Never Existed, and Larxene and Marly were watching a chick flick at a movie theater in Agrabah. Something called Brokeback Mountain. Roxas had never heard of it, but the two had been excited. They'd asked Roxas along, but Axel had grabbed him, and blushing slightly, told them that the blonde had other plans.

But then again, Axel was just strange. Really, what could be so embarrassing about a movie about a mountain?

So, there they sat, playing PS2 in the Living Room That Never Was. Roxas's stomach rumbled, reminding him that he wanted food soon, and if that Pizza Guy didn't hurry up, he was going to smash him in the face with a key blade.

"Noooooo! Rira died again! God, I hate you, you stupid silver haired freak! Soku kicks your ass every time!" Axel yelled at the game as Rira's brain flew into the sky. "Damnit," Axel muttered, kicking the PS2.

"Kingdom Brains does kind of suck," Roxas agreed, and they turned off the PS2, flopping onto the couch instead. The silence lasted about 20 seconds.

"Roooooxxxxaaasss… I'm bored. Be entertaining," Axel told him, and laid his head in Roxas's lap, swinging his legs over the arm of the couch, staring at Roxas upside down, pleading with his Envy Green eyes.

Roxas just sighed, tracing Axel's tattoos with his right pointer finger. Axel purred and almost seemed to lean into the touch. Roxas grinned as Axel's eyes slowly slid shut. Roxas moved to finger combing his hair, which was surprisingly soft considering how spiky it was.

"Feel's good," Axel told him, mumbling and kissing the inside of Roxas's hand as he moved it. Roxas didn't say anything, but Axel could see his tiny smile from inside his eyelids.

The moment was ruined when a loud "DONG!" was heard. The Doorbell That Never Was remained ominous and dark sounding until you realized it was actually playing the theme song for the Brady Bunch.

Xigbar answered the door. He always got there first, seeing as he could just pop down there. He grabbed the pizza and threw a ball of munny at the Pizza Guy that Never Was and closed the door, muttering something about, "We need a new fucking doorbell." He tossed the pizza into the Living Room, where it was pounced on by two very hungry Nobodies.

"Gah, Axel, why mushroom? Mushrooms are weird. I really hope these aren't made out of Heartless… I can't believe you made me order this…" Roxas whined, eyeing the pizza with suspicion. Ever since the battle in Wonderland, he'd become suspicious of any vegetables or plants they ate. He was always afraid he'd end up eating heartless guts.

"We got pepperoni too," Axel reminded him, eating his fourth piece of pizza and burping loudly, he grabbed another.

They finished the pizza in about thirty minutes and after a couple hours of dying in Kingdom Brains went outside to the garden. They sat by The Pond That Never Was and fed some Nobody Ducks pieces of pizza crust. Then they lay down and watched the stars twinkle above.

"Think it'll always be like this?" Roxas broke the silence, gazing up at the stars in awe. "I mean, we haven't had a mission since Xemnas had his melt down…" Roxas quickly edited, not wanting to sound too mushy. After all, Axel didn't need to know how worried Roxas was about things changing.

Axel just smiled and turned to face Roxas, who looked back at him, his large eyes even brighter in the moon light. "Nah, I don't think so," Axel began, only smiling larger when Roxas's face fell and looked sad, "I think it'll get even better."

Axel kissed Roxas softly, and the younger nobody laughed quietly, scooting closer to Axel as they returned to looking at the sky.

"Hey Axel? Ever wonder what those sparkly dots up there are?"

"Roxas, I don't wonder, I know."

"They're Fireflies. Fireflies that…uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing."

"Oh, gee, I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away."

"Roxas, with you, everything's gas."

The silence continued for about a minute until they burst out laughing hysterically. Roxas wiped tears from his eyes while laughing. "God, we really need to stop watching Disney movies, Axel. I mean, I think we have it memorized."

"Well, you know how good I am with memorization, right, Roxas?" Axel asked, wiggling his eyebrows at the double meaning. Roxas blushed and stuck out his tongue, which Axel caught in his mouth. They rolled around the grass, making out for a couple of minutes.

Eventually, they sat up in the grass, just smiling. Roxas, perfectly content, sighed happily, "Yeah, I think it'll just keep getting better."

* * *

The next few days passed by fairly unremarkably. They got up, checked to see if Vexen was still alive, were disappointed when they found out he was, acted like asses, went out on "mission" to get eggs and milk at The Supermarket That Never Was, and made out. Things seemed perfect. Only one thing went wrong…

"Noooo! Not EBay! Work, you stupid Laptop! I need my EBay!" Axel sobbed, head in his hands, sitting on his bed next to a very smug looking Roxy. The internet had been out for days because of a storm that had made most of the castle lose connection. The only ones who had their internet working were Larxene and Vexen, and since Axel didn't really like either of them, he was suffering from withdrawal.

"Hold me," Axel demanded, and Roxas grinned softly, pulling the light weight red head halfway into his lap, wrapping his arms around him while Axel fake sobbed. Giggling, Roxas licked some of his tears, causing the older man to blush and stutter indignantly for a few minutes.

"Stop making fun of my mourning, Roxy! This is a crisis!" Axel moaned, but the cute blonde just giggled and smiled. When he saw Axel's continued pout, he gave him the famous "Puppy Dog Gaze."

"Aww, Ax. Come on, I've only got these emotions when you're around. Shouldn't I be able to express them?" Roxas asked, biting his bottom lip for a moment before wetting it with his tiny pink tongue. Axel blushed again, like Roxy knew he would, and sighed.

"Kid, you'll be the death of me someday," Axel vowed, and they both chuckled for a moment before Axel kissed him forcefully. Their tongues intertwined in a fierce battle for determination before Roxas pulled away and made a face.

"…"

"Tic-tacs?"

"Yep."

Axel pulled out his favorite flavor of Tic-Tacs, Orange, and ate a few before diving back down. Roxas giggled as Axel slipped a Tic-Tac into his mouth. He chewed, and happily moaned into Axel's mouth. There, that was much better.

It wasn't like all they liked to do was have sex and make out. It was only that when they were together could they fully feel. When they weren't together, which wasn't often, the world was dull and they felt empty and alone. Only when they were together could Roxas feel the wind and smell the flowers. When they were together, they were whole. When they weren't together, they were only half creatures, things with no hearts, only the memory of an emotion. Sometimes, Roxas wished he could have his heart when he was alone.

But then again, when did he really want to be alone, without Axel? Even if he had his heart… he wanted to be with Axel forever. It was something Axel worried about, actually. He was always afraid Roxas would leave him once he had his heart back, but then again, Axel wouldn't mind. If Roxas could have his own heart, Axel would be happy. Because he knew Roxas's heart was attached to his, and someway, somehow, Roxas would always come back. Always.

* * *

"DONG!" The doorbell started chiming the Brady Bunch Theme song. Somewhere in the house, Xigbar lost it and started smashing chairs, screaming about how he, "I don't want to fucking hear about the story of a fucking family of 8 fucking people! I'm done! NO MORE BRADY BUNCH!"

Somewhere else in the house, Vexen laughed, his plan finally succeeding. He knew Xigbar hated the theme song, and now he could pick the rest of them off… one by one…. After he had his afternoon nap and prune juice.

Saix and Xemnas didn't hear the doorbell. They were being too loud giving each other…foot massages. Sure, that's it.

Larxene and Marly, being in the garden, didn't really hear it; except for the last part of the doorbell. They were busy switching between making out and kissing each flower individually. "It makes them grow faster if they are sprinkled with Love!" Marluxia explained.

Zexion and Demyx heard it. Demyx sang into his hair brush. He loved the Brady Bunch, the show was so cute! Zexion sighed and pulled his pants back up, cursing Demyx's short attention span before Demyx pushed him back on the bed, singing about a man named Brady while he finished what he started.

Xaldin and Lex heard it. They just didn't care. They were too busy silently playing poker with Luxord and loosing all the money they had ever earned in their lives. They figured they could just steal it back anyhow. It wasn't like it would be hard to steal their money from a man who could only hurt people with Playing Cards. Really, what was he going to do, paper cut them to death?

Axel and Roxas heard it loud and clear. It interrupted something they both loved.

"Ugghh… Axel, Harder!" Roxas screamed, closing his eyes and whimpering slightly.

"I don't think I can make it!" Axel yelled back, trying his best to do his job.

"Just a few more, Ugghh, seconds…" Roxas whimpered until they both cried with relief, their worlds turning white.

"Man, that jar of peanuts was really hard to open," Axel bragged, wiping the sweat off his eyebrow. He grabbed a couple and moaned in satisfaction.

"Hey, give me some! I helped open the jar too!" Roxas argued, grabbing for them, only to have them help over his head.

"Make me," Axel countered with a grin. It was only then that they realized Xigbar hadn't opened the door like normal. The doorbell rang again, restarting the theme song, and the screams of the one eyed man could be heard throughout the Castle.

Roxas sighed. "Xigbar lost it again. It's your turn to get the door," Roxy informed the older man and Axel groaned, setting down the peanuts and going to answer the door.

"What do you want?" he asked the delivery man who stood outside the Castle in a slightly bewildered manner, almost like he'd never seen a house so big and foreboding that played the Brady Bunch Theme song before.

"Oh, sir, you um, ordered these, from EBay," the delivery man informed him, showing him twelve small cardboard boxes. Axel was confused for a moment. He'd gotten his red checkered shoes a couple of days before, and though they were great, he hadn't ordered twelve pairs. Then it dawned on him, and he smiled a Cheshire grin.

"Right. So, I'll sign for that, then," he told the man, sighing the paper and taking the boxes inside. He called everyone to the Living Room That Never Was. Or, well, everyone but Vexen, who really, didn't count.

* * *

"This had better be important Axel, or I'm going to kill you, bring you back, and kill you again," Demyx informed him sweetly, and smiled, hugged the blonde, and skipped off to sit next to Zexion, who glared at Axel, obviously sexually frustrated.

The redhead gulped and looked like a deer in headlights. There was nothing more terrifying then an angry Demyx. The way he could inform someone they were about to die, and then skip away… it was just freaky.

"Right… Um, so, I've brought you all here today to give you all something important!" Axel began. The Living Room That Never Was seemed very small with everyone, except Vexen, in it. All the chairs were taken up, and the couches as well. Lexeaus and Xaldin looked bored, which really was nothing new. Xigbar grinned and rocked back and forth, still not exactly recovered from his mental breakdown. Luxord sat in the corner wondering why Vexen couldn't just die, therefore letting him never go downstairs again. Larxene was sharpening her knives. Marluxia was applying his 'man-liner' and 'man-gloss.' Xemnas was playing with a rubber ducky and Saix was petting his hair maternally. And Roxas stood next to Axel, who was standing in front of a pile of cardboard boxes, in front of everyone, grinning smugly.

"Firstly, I want to tell you all that almost everyone here, aside from Roxas and I, are idiots. We've been trying to make a fucking moon of hearts for, what, a year? We mope around crying about our supposed "lack of feelings" and shit, even though we all know we have feelings, and for what reason?" Axel asked, and the other members of the Organization shifted in their seats uncomfortably.

"We were bored?" Demyx answered hopefully, wanting his answer to be correct. Axel answered with a smile and continued.

"Yes, because we were bored, and even though we have feelings, we don't have hearts. So, I brought you all here today because of something I found on EBay. This totally proves my theory that EBay rules the world, Zexion. I told you so. Na-Na-Na-Na-Na!" Axel coughed and continued after a moment.

"I give to you, fresh from the EBay delivery Man… your hearts!" Axel exclaimed, and the whole room gasped. Axel handed a box out for every member but Roxas, who he looked at and silently informed that he'd get him later.

The rest of the Organization opened their boxes to find hearts. Carefully, they placed the hearts by their chests, and the hearts dissolved in. The room filled with cheering and tears, aside from Larxene, who started breaking things, glad to finally be able to feel true anger.

Axel and Roxas left, and went to Axel's room. Axel gave Roxas his box, and looked at his.

"Together," Roxas said, as they looked at one another. Each opened their box, and as the hearts flew into their chests, they kissed.

* * *

"What will we do now?" Roxas asked the rest of the organization as they sat in the Living Room That Now Officially Was. "I mean, since we're not Nobodies, I really don't want to live here anymore. It's gloomy, it rains too much, the floor creaks, there's no heating, and the reception is horrible," he finished, nodding to himself, as if confirming these feelings mentally. The rest of the Organization pondered that for a while.

"I want to be a poker dealer," Luxord told them, and the rest of the group nodded their agreements and compliments as the blonde giggled, smiled, and blushed appreciatively.

"I'll join the Marines," Xigbar said, whose idea was met with silence till he held up his gun as if to make them disagree. They cheered then.

"Ballerina," Xaldin said, and the group chuckled and exclaimed that it would be the perfect dream career for the man.

"Stay at Home Mother," Lex informed them, smiling bashfully as the group "Awwwwed."

"Clothing Designer slash Fag!" Marluxia giggled, and Larxene giggled back at him passionately, adding on, "Clothing Designer Assistant slash Hag!"

"The Owner of a Large Corporate Business, although I'll mostly just be the puppet for the brains of the business," Xemnas told them, and no one disagreed. After all, it wasn't that different.

"The Brains of his business slash the real runner of the business," Saix replied, nodding happily.

"Chef and maybe I'll go for my last years at High school, along with being an amazing lover," Axel responded, and Roxas grinned at him, mouthing the words, "Feed me" silently, causing the redhead to blush.

"I'll be a starving Musician slash eventual rock star slash awesome boyfriend," Demyx smiled gleefully, winking at Zexion who appeared non-phased but was secretly excited.

"Neural Biologist slash boyfriend of the awesome boyfriend," Zexion spoke seriously, and of course no one could disagree with that kind of logic.

Roxas thought about his answer for a minute. "I think I'll go to High school for a while too, but… maybe I'll be a veterinarian, and… and… Axel's…lover," Roxas stuttered out, and really, no one was surprised. They cheered anyhow. After all, who would resist such a cute blonde?

The room was silent for a minute until Larxene shouted out "Group hug!" and everyone was forced into the hug. They then exchanged phone numbers and after a couple hours of packing, the Castle was empty. Except for Vexen, who had slept through the whole thing, but after all, he didn't count anyhow.

* * *

A Few Months Later

"Roxy Babe! Do you get the homework?" Axel asked as they exited from their Science class. Roxas sighed and began to explain it to the redheaded boy. Adorned in baggy blue jeans and a white shirt, the blonde looked angelic, and even though some of the girls squealed and gazed at him adoringly, no one made any moves with the redhead there. The both of them had arrived at Twilight High a couple of months before, and everyone knew they were together.

The redhead didn't have a reputation quite as good as the Blonde's. Dressed in skinny black jeans and a red tank top, multiple ear pierces, and a bunch of bracelets, he was equally as sexy as the blonde, but had let everyone know pretty quickly he wouldn't accept their love, and hadn't done it nearly as gracefully as the blonde, either.

Still, the both of them had fairly large amounts of friends. Their social group included Cloud, an antisocial blonde and his boyfriend, the tough looking but totally softy Leon. Riku, a pretty silver haired boy and his boyfriend the overly hyper Sora, who seemed to be related to Roxas somehow. Axel seemed to know something about the connection, but said nothing.

Sora had been in a comatose state until a few months ago when he'd woken up. Since then, they'd gone back to school and both Sora and Riku seemed to be doing fine. There was Namine, a lesbian who was going out with Sora and Riku's friend Kairi. Hayner, one of Roxas's new good friends, Pence, a kind boy who was in love with Olette, another of their good friends were also in their circle. Axel mostly hung out with Leon and Cloud, but likes Roxas's friends well enough.

"Hey Roxas?" Axel asked as they were walking out of the school building. The blonde looked up at his boyfriend, his large innocent eyes questioning the redhead.

"Yeah?" Roxas responded, inquisitive and sincere. The redhead looked away for a moment, muttering, barely audible, "Has it… Has life gotten even better yet?" he asked, referring to the night under the stars they'd shared.

Roxas's eyes softened and he smiled a small, pure smile, pulling the redhead down and whispering softly, "It always does when I'm with you," before kissing him as they arrived at their apartment, which had great reception, especially when they were ordering things off of Axel's other love, EBay.

"Yeah, life does just keep getting better," Roxas murmured to the wind, before being led into the Apartment by a very happy redhead. After all, life had to be good. This was their Happily Ever After.

* * *

"Are they gone?" Vexen asked, peering out from the basement. The Castle was completely still as the old man walked up the stairs. Yes, they were gone, finally!

And so, Vexen took off all of his clothing, danced around the house, and made a mess of things. Finally, those stupid people were gone! Gone, gone, gone, gone, and gone! He was finally free!

Sighing to himself, he whispered and sighed dreamily, sleeping in the master suite of the Castle, which used to be Xemnas's bed.

"Man oh man," Vexen muttered as he took his Regularity pills with Prune juice,

"I definitely Heart EBay."

And they all lived happily ever after, and it was all thanks to the wonders of a magical device we like to call EBay.

* * *

Author's Note: The end! Did you like it? I'd love to know your thoughts about it. Please Review or Axel's internet connection to EBay might die, and then he'll be really sad! Haha. I heart EBay.

-Crimson


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